Ask a Gentleman I

As I've mentioned a few times since I made over my blog, I've officially offered my advice to anyone who has questions regarding etiquette and manners (Ask a Gentleman) and costumes, sewing, and theater (Ask a Costumer). After looking through my first few responses, I chose the following e-mail from a close friend:

Dear Nostalgically Yours,

My boyfriend's godmother died yesterday (it's okay, she's had terminal cancer for 10 years and just started to fade this year so they knew it was coming) and the funeral is on Friday. I'm not 100% that I'm attending, [her boyfriend] says he doesn't want me to have to go to a funeral while I'm here [...] but anyway, I don't know what to wear! Since I'm here in Europe visiting, I'm very limited on what I have, so I need your opinion.. I was thinking black dress with black leggings, and then I have a grey lace blazer and my green suede heels. They are the only heels I brought so I don't know if they work, but I don't know if flats or my grey suede boots are appropriate? It's pretty traditional here as far as funerals, and [her boyfriend] is wearing a suit, tie, and dress shoes.
I've only been to two funerals and my grandma didn't want any of us wearing black to our grandpa's funeral, and at my friend Alexis' funeral, no one wanted to wear black because it was already sad enough, so I really don't have a lot of experience.. I also have a black high wasted skirt I could wear again with leggings because I don't think showing legs would be appropriate, [...] with a black sweater so I'm not showing my shoulders, and the green heels. That's another option I was thinking about. [...]
His sister is coming here with his dad to get his dad something to wear so I'll ask her what she thinks ([...] she will be able to tell me if i need to be in all black or not). It will most likely me slightly chilly so the blazer would be fine. [...] I'm thinking I will most likely go with the boots but like I said, I will get another opinion from his sister.

Thanks a bunch,
Hopelessly Under-packed

Dear Hopelessly Underpacked:

Whereas even fifty years ago the etiquette for events such as funerals and weddings were clearly marked by your culture and country, today it is extremely difficult to tell exactly what to wear to these sorts of things to avoid offending anyone. This is especially true about funerals - anything involving the death of a loved one is bound to make family members high-strung already, so the last thing we as guests of the funeral party want to do is make a spectacle of ourselves. Luckily there are still some general guidelines one can follow when having to go it alone, or when wardrobe is limited, such as it is in your case.
Your first instinct in terms of modesty are correct. It is inappropriate to show too much skin at a funeral, so if you must resort to wearing something shorter than knee-length, you should at least cover your legs. Shoulders and hair are generally acceptable in most situations, especially during the summer months, but it is important to double-check with the family and/or the location of the religious service to ensure there are no modesty requirements. Though I'm not worried about this with you, "H.U.", I will remind anyone else reading that cleavage is never acceptable at a funeral. Strapless dresses are also generally frowned upon.
Color is an issue that can vary widely. Though this doesn't apply to you, some Eastern cultures wear white to memorial services and funerals. As you mention in your e-mail, color can vary greatly depending on the deceased and his or her family. Though it's generally best to stick to black, grey and white, if a family member gives the okay for other colors, by all means go ahead. For your specific situation, "H.U.", I would nix the green suede pumps in favor of your flats or boots in neutral colors. More conservative crowds will find colorful accessories or bold prints to be disrespectful.
Since we know each other, I have trust in your taste. My only pieces of advice are to keep it covered, keep it simple, and keep in touch with the family.

My condolences,
Nostalgically Yours

Murphy's Laws For Sewing

These were given to me by my Fashion Design teacher at Fairfax Academy for Communications and the Arts. Lots of fun, and very true:

• Invariably, the seam you wanted to take out is not the one that actually gets ripped out.
  
• The pattern you want to copy or alter will invariably be missing a key piece.
  
• The fabric you forget to pre-shrink will always shrink the most in the wash.
  
• Fusible interfacings will always fuse to the iron.
  
• The overlock machine only eats the last seam on the final garment.
  
• If you need six buttons in a pinch, there will never be more than five in your sewing box.
  
• Permanent stains will always occur in the most visible and obvious places.
  
• Fabric dye will always leaves streaks on the intended fabric, and stains on everything else.
  
• When pricked with a pin or needle, the amount of blood that ensues will be in direct proportion to the cost of the fabric.
  
• If you have to drop something out of your sewing box, it will inevitably be the box of pins without its top.
  
• The bobbin thread will only run out when things are running smoothly.
  
• Your lost needles and pins will only be found when walking barefoot.
  
• Since opposites attract, facings will usually be sewn to the wrong side, and darts will be sewn inside out.
  
• The collar points will always match until you've trimmed away all seam allowances.
  
• The iron never scorches a garment until its final press.
  
• The steam iron only burps rust onto light-colored fabrics.
  
• The light on your sewing machine will only burn out late at night.
  
• The threads in a gathering stitch will only break in the middle.
  
• The scissors cut easiest past their intended stopping point.
  

Hope you seamstresses and seamters out there enjoyed this. Nostalgically Yours

Sewing Tips Series #2 - How to Let Out a Blouse

One of the most common complaints amongst my friends when it comes to finding clothes that fit in stores is a lack of accommodation for women who are anything over an A cup. Well, if you're one of these women, and if you've got a sewing machine and a basic understanding of sewing, then I've got a solution that's relatively easy and minimally invasive.

In my posts on the Medieval Gown (Part I, Part II, Part III), I mention a popular feature of clothing in this period: the gusset.

For those of you that didn't read the Medieval Gown articles, a gusset is a piece of fabric cut on the bias that is usually shaped as a triangle or a variation thereof. This piece of fabric is then inserted into a seam wherever extra breadth is necessary. In modern times, gussets are most commonly used in the crotch of a pair of pants.

The gusset should not be confused with the godet. Though they are cousins, two major differences separate them:

1. Gussets serve a fitting purpose, whereas godets only add flare and are more decorative.
2. Gussets are cut as a variation of a triangle, whereas godets are always a circular sector.

On with the show. My aunt had a similar complaint to ones I mentioned at the beginning of the article. A blouse she loved was too tight in the arm and the bust and when she saw how I solved the problem for the Medieval Gown, she wondered if I might do the same for her blouse. The first thing I needed to do was to find extra fabric to use for the gussets. Here are some ideas:

Use a duplicate. For instance, if the blouses were on clearance for dirt cheap. Then you can convert one of the tops into something else.

Buy some fabric. It can either match the rest of the garment or act as an accent for it.

Use part of the existing garment. This is what I did with my aunt's blouse.

The first thing I did was to take out the side seam and the underarm seam, while keeping the sleeve attached to the bodice. Luckily, most manufacturers attach the sleeve before closing the side-seam, so this shouldn't be too much of a problem. You might have to take out the hem of the sleeve, as I did, and you may have to mess with the hem on the bottom of the garment. Remember, if you're doing this to a dress, especially at the waist, you don't necessarily need to take out the entire side-seam.

Next, I cut out the section of the sleeve I was going to use for the gusset. I used my grid ruler to cut out the shape, and to ensure both gussets were the same size:

Just make sure you true everything before you finish, to avoid having to rip seams:

That's it, really. Once you've cut out the gusset, it's simply a matter of placing it correctly and sewing it in. I give more specific instructions for insertion in my Medieval Gown Post.

Also, just a quick tip: when using kite gussets it's important, though not imperative, to make sure every corner touches or meets a seam. This avoids bunching and gaping that can occur if you put a corner into a smooth seam. If you have to put a gusset where it does not intersect a seam, then use a softer oblong shape instead:

Hope this helps!

Nostalgically Yours

Is my Spiritualism Showing...?

I'm sure many things come to mind for you upon seeing a pack of Tarot cards. Some of you, I'm sure, associate them with carnivals or gypsies- ladies in beaded shawls who speak with a thick Bulgarian accent and predict "great change". Others might erroniously link them to the Devil, and think of them as tools of evil. A few of you might know it as a tool of Self exploration and discovery. However, I'm sure few of you know that it can be used quite effectively in the writing of stories.

 

Image via Wikipedia

The Page of Cups, The Hanged Man, and The Empress are all cards that represent me in my personal readings.



I'm sure that among you readers there are at least a few aspiring fiction writers and maybe even some established ones. I'm also sure that many of you have experienced writer's block when working on a story. Perhaps a character seems a little flat, or her motivations are unclear. Here is where the Tarot can help. Being a thickly layered matrix of symbolism and archetypes, the cards are a great way to get your creative juices flowing.

Some of you might be hesitant to engage with the Tarot, perhaps because you don't want to spend time learning all the meanings of cards. Well, for the purposes of writing, you don't need a book on Tarot divination or endless tomes on the symbolism or numerology hidden in the cards. All you need is a deck and your imagination! Picking your deck is important simply because it will affect the variety of stories you can come up with. Tarot and other divination decks comes in all sorts of varieties and themes. Obviously, certain decks lack the deep symbolism of others, and themed decks (such as the Vampire Tarot) might just end up pidgeon-holing your stories. My recommendation? The tarot standard for the past century: The Rider-Waite. It's a very beautiful deck with complicated pictures, perfect for our imaginative purposes.

--Need some plot points to fill in your story? Shuffle the deck and pull some cards for a storyline.

--Having trouble "rounding" out a character? Use a Horoscope Spread to get more ideas on what your character's all about.

--Trying to find a conflict in a relationship? Use a Celtic Heart spread.

The good news is that there are spreads for almost any aspect of life, so there can be solutions to pretty much any writing rut you might find yourself in. Of course if you don't feel like looking up spreads online or buying books on the subject, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making up your own spreads, or even ommiting spreads all together and simply drawing cards at random. How you use the cards in your writing should reflect your creative process, and should never make you uncomfortable.

And if you happen to find yourself interested in the Tarot after a while, that's not necessarily a bad thing, either!


Have fun with this!

Nostalgically Yours

If you're interested in learning more about using the Tarot
in your writing, I recommend Tarot for Writers by Corinne Kenner.

Food for Thought - Project Management

A teacher once told me something about costume design that I think really is an almost universal truth. In any project we aspire to save as much time and money as possible while still putting out a decent product. However, this is not completely possible.

This diagram illustrates my teacher's point: you can only ever really have two of these. A well-made product is almost never both cost and time-efficient. In order to save money, one must usually use up time - perhaps waiting for a sale or driving to a cheaper store. In any case, this applies to this project as well, and since I am never willing to give up the well-made circle, I will always have to spend extra time or extra money to create a product.

Think about it.
Nostalgically Yours