Ask A Gentleman II

"Dear Nostalgically yours:

You are, of course, the epitome of great taste and flair – so I resort to you to ease my mind when making plans to attend an upcoming wedding. My sister is getting married. The setting will be in the deep south on a river boat. As you may know, it often gets to be over 100 degrees during that time of year. So, here is my dilemma. My sis has impeccable taste and an endless budget – it will be a very small but very tasteful wedding and I want to represent. I, on the other hand, have a very limited budget – really, I don’t even have a budget for a new outfit, seeing how it will cost us about $1000 for my family to get there. BUT, I want this day to be special for her, free of drama, and perfect – that is what she deserves. So, have a couple of choices of things I already own. My sis, BTW, is wearing a 1950 nostalgic throwback dress with a full skirt and small sweet bodice – I don’t know what it will look like – but, in my head I imagine something like what Audrey Hepburn wore when she receive the Academy Award for “Roman Holiday.” Anyway, you should know that everything looks good on her – she is very elegant, very chic, very stylish! The theme is “nautical, creams, blues and above all … stylish”. In thinking of things that are already in my closet (that would be appropriate for a smoldering summer day), I have a lot of long, flowing summer skirts and maxi sun dresses, one pair of black palazzo pants, but nothing in red, or white, or blue. What do you suggest? Oh, I almost forget, her son, who is a designer, will be giving her away – so… no pressure! The good thing is, of course, that all eyes will be on her – so that is wonderful – but since there will only be about 20 guests total, I want to make sure that I look elegant, and not embarrass her!

Thanks,
Perplexed by Panache"

Dear Perplexed,

Though I doubt you are truly as perplexed as you say, let me start off by saying that you already have the upper hand because you're aware of yourself. The first step toward an elegant countenance is to be aware of what one is working with - you have that down pat! Money has very little to do with elegance and sophistication. There are plenty of people dripping with money who can't hold an outfit together to save their lives.

See? Money can't buy class.

As Christian Dior once said: "Elegance is not dependent on money. Of the four things I have mentioned above [distinction, naturalness, care and simplicity], the most important of all is care. Care in choosing your clothes. Care in wearing them. Care in keeping them." And in the words of Diana Vreeland: "The only real elegance is in the mind; If you've got that, the rest really comes from it." You already have this Care, dear reader and I'm fairly certain the other three aren't far behind.

You know they ain't trippin'!

Unfortunately, because I don't know what is in your wardrobe and only what isn't, I cannot truly advise you on what, specifically, to wear. The good news is that no-one will be looking at you since you're not the bride, so a lot of the pressure is off. Think carefully about what is appropriate for the occasion, appropriate for the weather, and above all appropriate for you.

I hope this helped,

Music Mondays - "Mah Nà Mah Nà" and Henri Salvador

"Before I begin today's post I would like to say I'm sorry for my sudden halt in posting. I've been going through a lot lately and quite frankly I had to let a lot of things slide, this blog included. I'm back again just the same as ever, but I've decided the best thing to would be to limit myself to posting twice a week - Mondays and Fridays. This way I can be more certain to keep posting consistently while juggling my school and social lives, but enough about me! On to the post."

I stumbled onto today's featured performer completely by accident. You see, I'm a big fan of what can be called Youtube binges. I'll click on one video then go on an endless parade of related videos into infinity. Well this time I really struck gold. It all started when a friend of mine posted the original "Mah Nà Mah Nà" skit from Sesame Street - not the one from "The Muppet Show" that most of us are familiar with. This got me thinking: Is "Mah Nà Mah Nà" an actual song? Turns out, it is! It was written by Piero Umiliani for the 1968 film "Sweden: Heaven and Hell". Here's the original:

So, from here I was led to a parody made by a funny-looking Frenchman named Henri Salvador: "Mais Non, Mais Non", roughly translated: "Of Course Not, Of Course Not!" It works a lot better in French, obviously. Suddenly I was bombarded with a series of very funny, quirky skits from the plethora of hosting jobs he had on French television in the 1960s. Here are my two favorites. Yes, they are in French, but they're easy to follow because of his expressive face.

A true artist.

Juanita Banana: The story of a Cuban Banana Farmer's Daughter who longs to be an opera star despite her father's misgivings. She runs away to join the theater and of course once her father hears of her success he leaves the plantation for the stage!




Minnie Petite Souris (Little Minnie Mouse): This guy is doing everything he can to kill this poor mouse, but she's not having any of it.



There are plenty of other skits and songs of his on Youtube, but most of the others are too difficult to understand if you don't speak French. What I found most interesting about Mr. Salvador is that he's known for recording some of the first French Rock songs. In addition, his song "Dans Mon Ile" is said to have been Anotonio Carlos Jobim's inspiration for pretty much the entire Bossa Nova movement. Pretty neat, huh?

Henri Salvador

He was also the voice of Sebastian in the French dubbed version of "The Little Mermaid".

Goof-ball, Musician, Talking Crab. Henri Salvador.

Good Ol', Dear Ol' Dad

In my previous post on "Coffee Time", a musical number from the 1945 MGM musical "Yolanda and the Thief", I erroneously stated that Lucille Bremer was Fred Astaire's mistress.

My father, a big film history buff sent me this message to correct me:




"Hi Kiddo -- I have been enjoying "Nostalgically Yours"--it's a very impressive blog. But I must rush to correct a fact in your blurb on "Yolanda and the Thief." Fred and Lucille Bremer were NOT romantically involved offscreen as you report. Fred was from all accounts faithful and devoted to his first wife, Phyllis Potter, whom he married in 1933, and with whom he had three children. Mrs. Astaire died of cancer in 1954; Astaire did not remarry until 1981. Lucille Bremer (1916-1996), a former Rockette, WAS rumored to be involved, not with Astaire, but rather with the great MGM producer Arthur Freed, who built her up in pictures like "Yolanda," "Ziegfeld Follies," "Meet Me in St. Louis," and "Till the Clouds Roll By" (the Jerome Kern biopic). Despite dancing talent, Bremer (in the words of her frequent director Vincente Minnelli) "lacked the ambition to be a star," and after several more minor movie roles quit Hollywood to marry the son of the provisional president of Mexico ("She became Yolanda," as my professor and friend, the late Joel E. Siegel, once put it). In later life, after divorce, she owned a dress boutique in Southern California. David Thomson, who deeply admired the "vivid, useless excellence" of Astaire's art, perhaps summed up why Astaire worked so well with Bremer, "another rather heartless dancer." Not so vivid but still useless information from Ol' Dad."

As I read a light bulb went off. My dad is a practically endless source of interesting stories - stories that go really well with my blog... Why not let him strut his stuff and exercise his writing chops? Well, I'm proud to introduce my new segment: Good Ol', Dear Ol' Dad. For his first column, he decided to write a follow-up obit to my previous blurb on the passing of Jane Russell: "A Farewell to Cleavage". Introducing 'Good Ol', Dear Ol' Dad':

FAREWELL TO A FULL-FIGURED GIRL
Sex Symbol with a Sense of Humor


We note with sadness the passing of Jane Russell this week at age 89. In tributes to Jane, much was made of how her voluptuousness was exploited and marketed by Howard Hughes, who discovered her and put her under personal contract for many years, as well as her good works as the founder of an organization to facilitate the placement of adoptive children. Some, but not nearly enough, attention was paid to the rare role she played in movies of the 1940s and 1950s: sex goddess with a sense of humor. As such, she brightened several movies that are still worth catching, in whole or in part.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953):
Jane's best known and best loved "mainstream" movie was done on loan to 20th Century-Fox, where she holds her own opposite that studio's new star, Marilyn Monroe. The film is sort of a passing of the torch from an established sex symbol to an upstart, but the two female stars create a generous and respectful mutual synergy--Jane even does a funny but still gracious Monroe impersonation in a courtroom scene. Tommy Noonan, Elliott Reed, and the great character actor Charles Coburn are the mainly non-threatening males who pursue Jane and Marilyn on an ocean liner. (Ten year old George Winslow, with his deadpan expression and prematurely deep voice, is the only vaguely "adult" male on board.) This very amusing film probably remains so satisfying because of the way director Howard Hawks adroitly get stars performances from Jane and Marilyn in the context of the superb ensemble playing of the eccentric supporting cast.

His Kind of Woman (1949; released 1951, John Farrow):
Jane and laconic co-star Robert Mitchum demonstrate great on-screen chemistry in this fast-paced and offbeat adventure/comedy/noir. The somewhat convoluted plot involves a deported gangster (Raymond Burr) attempting to sneak back into the U.S. by kidnaping and killing Mitchum and assuming his identity through plastic surgery. Jane is a down-on-her-luck saloon singer who meets Mitchum at the posh and remote Mexican resort where most of the action takes place. (Jane gets to sing the catchy if rather irrelevant theme song, "Five Little Miles to San Berdoo.") Burr, in pre-Perry Mason days, is a frighteningly evil heavy; Vincent Price is excellent as a hammy movie actor who tries to use his swashbuckling persona to help rescue Mitchum; Tim Holt is an earnest, pipe-smoking, but ultimately reckless G-man; and Marjorie Reynolds is amusing as Price's long-suffering wife. This well-written and mostly good-natured romp belies the fact that producer Hughes lavished a huge budget on the production and ballyhooed its premiere with fifty-foot, pyrotechnically enhanced images of Jane and Mitchum that reportedly created fire hazards along Hollywood Boulevard, and that Mitchum and Russell both despised director Farrow, whom Mitchum in a later TCM interview branded as a "sadist." Maybe there was something to Mitchum's claim: late in the picture, Jane gets locked in a closet for nearly a reel while Burr menaces Mitchum on his yacht with, among other things, a hypodermic needle (Hughes teamed Jane and Mitchum again in 1952 in the uneven "Macao," which was completed by Nicholas Ray after Hughes, as was his wont, fired original director Josef von Sternberg).

The Paleface (1948, Norman Z. MacLeod)
and Son of Paleface (1952, Frank Tashlin):
Hughes loaned Jane to Paramount for these two highly successful western parodies that paired her with comedian Bob Hope. Big budgets, Technicolor, songs (including the Academy Award winning, "Buttons and Bows," which is reprised with special lyrics in the sequel), and plenty of slapstick humor. Of the two, I prefer "Son," which has Roy Rogers as the third lead for good measure; and leave it to ex-animator Tashlin to throw in "boing" sound effects as Jane sways her hips while singing "Wing Ding Tonight."


Now, two more that need to be taken in smaller doses, but which typify (and, let's face it, objectify) Jane as a Hollywood "product":

The Outlaw (1940; released 1943 and re-released in 1946):
Produced and directed by Howard Hughes. Jane's notorious screen debut, this bizarre western was critically dismissed, but critic David Thomson has astutely noted that it is "very funny, very sexy, and as much Howard Hawks [whom Hughes initially hired to direct but later fired, taking over direction himself] as Howard Hughes." Jane seems to be in on the joke and demonstrates a screen presence that rises above director Hughes's outlandish focus on her breasts. Ironically, despite such overt fetishism, the male characters, Wyatt Earp (Thomas Mitchell), Doc Holliday (Walter Huston), and Billy the Kid (Jack Beutel) often seem as interested in one another as in Jane. I wouldn't go so far as to call "The Outlaw" good, but it's not as bad as is generally thought and worth slogging through with a sort of cultural anthropologist's eye.

The French Line (1954, Lloyd Bacon):
Not for the faint of heart, this bloated Hughes technicolor musical production was shot in 3-D (you guess the rest). I wouldn't recommend trying to sit through it, but those who are curious to see how baldly Hughes feinted at the 1950s censors may want to go to YouTube to see Jane's numbers, including "I'll Be Switched" (in a bubble bath) and the rather alarming "I'm Looking for Trouble." Jane must have had a great sense of humor (and a fantastic salary) to weather all this. Gilbert Roland is Jane's love interest and a woman who may be a very young Kim Novak (this is still debated) can be seen in the chorus in several production numbers.

Jane tried her hand at producing a starring vehicle for herself in 1957, "The Fuzzy Pink Nightgown" (Norman Taurog), but the comedy about a movie star kidnaped by a gangster was not a success. Jane turned to a nightclub and recording career, making movies only sporadically, including a cameo in 1966's "Billy Jack" (!); in the early 1970s, Stephen Sondheim tapped her to replace Elaine Stritch in his Broadway musical "Company," where Jane sang Sondheim's "The Little Things You Do Together."

Russell with composer Stephen Sondheim

Her famous body and sense of humor still very much intact, Jane later became TV commercial spokeswoman for Playtex bras, designed for, as she put it, "us full-figured girls." She may not have made as much money from these ads as, say, Alec Guiness did from his percentage of "Star Wars," but there's still cosmic justice in Jane's being able to profit in middle age from her famous screen image of 20 years earlier. If you want to see what all the excitement was about, and how good Jane was in spite of all the hoopla and the frequent indignities of the era, have a look at some of the movies mentioned above.

Good Ol', Dear Ol' Dad


Hope you all enjoyed this first in what I hope will be many future columns written by my favorite dad.

PS: If you haven't yet watched "Coffee Time", it's well worth watching!

The Good Wife's Guide

The "original" - but don't read it! I have it all below.

Allegedly an excerpt from Housekeeping Monthly, this "Good Wife's Guide" has been circulating the internet since it's inception. Some say it was even sent around by fax before e-mail took off. Most experts have discredited this article as little to no proof of its original publishing exists. However, I personally believe the advice in this article to be somewhat reflective of the time period. If you want proof, just watch any episode of "I Love Lucy", or films such as "Crime of Passion" (1957) or "All that Heaven Allows" (1955). Life for the average housewife was quite depressing, and strict gender roles paired with a cash flow coming exclusively from the husband did nothing to help. Anyway, I thought I had already done a post about Anne Taintor, but apparently I was mistaken, so I'll leave the info about her for another post and simply accompany this delightful little guide with some of her artwork.

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.

• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
• Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

With that, I must leave you. I did have that dream last night, and it has yet to come true. Must keep the house clean for my imaginary husband's return!

Photo credits:
All images used in this article are copyright Anne Taintor, save the Good Wife's Guide which is in the Public Domain.

A Farewell to Cleavage

Is the title irreverent? Yes. Do I respect Jane Russell beyond her physical beauty? Of course! I think if anyone has a sense of humor about her bust it's Jane Russell.

I personally find her legs much more attractive.

I heard yesterday of the passing of sex symbol Jane Russell at age 89 of respiratory failure. She is probably best remembered as the voluptuous (to say the least) cowgirl from Howard Hughes' "The Outlaw" (1941). If not for this, then she is usually recognized as the woman who plays second fiddle to Marilyn Monroe in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" (1953) where Monroe sings her most famous song, 'Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend'. Yet, in watching any of her films, there is a certain je-ne-sais-quoi about her that steals any scene. Her screen presence is such that she outshines even Monroe throughout most of "Gentlemen".





Notice how, despite the gobs of shirtless hunks, the eye still runs directly to her?

Anyway, here's to lady who sang.

Music Mondays - Barbra Streisand "Sleepin' Bee"

Just a quick little post for this week's Music Monday. This is a little gem of a song I discovered while on one of my famous Wikipedia binges. More and more often I find myself on vicious cycles of clicking article after related article just to satiate my undying curiosity. On this occasion I happened to be reading about Barbra Streisand's career and I read that her first television appearance was on "The Tonight Show" in 1961, and she sang this beautiful song:




Anyway, I've fallen in love with Ms. Streisand over and over as I discover new and different parts of her career. She is probably the epitome of the musical diva we know today. Just for fun let's watch some other songs from some of her many television appearances and specials:











The last one is my favorite because of the fashion tie-in. Those hats she tries on drive me up the wall with envy... (Especially the one at 4:56). Anyway that's that for this week's Music Monday.


Hope your week starts out well,

Historic Lols

I'm sure you've all heard of 'lolcats' by now: those infamous pictures of cats with humorous captions. Well, some of you may not know that besides lolcats there are many other internet "memes", as they are called. Among these are vintage and antique images with funny captions, collected here in "Historic Lols". Here are a few examples:

Hope you have a weekend full of "lols"!