Witty Wednesdays - A Very Dangerous Sport

This week's comic is all about kids and who shouldn't have them:

Witty Wednesdays - The Poseidon Adventure

In following with my theme from last week, I've decided to put up another retro comic - from some of my early attempts at fancy picture-editing software. These were done after the remake of "The Poseidon Adventure" came out in 2006. These are the worst places to be on Poseidon:

Note: If you were confused, the comics with portholes were done with this in mind

Television Tuesdays - Let Them Eat Cake

Some of you readers may have heard of the comedy duo of French and Saunders, composed of comedians Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders. While they are most famous for their eponymous sketch comedy show which ran for nine seasons between 1987 and 2007, they have also featured in many other television programs, both together and separately - shows such as "Vicar of Dibley" and "Absolutely Fabulous" - and they've usually had a hand in the writing. Fewer are the programs they've starred in that they haven't written or created. One such show is the period comedy "Let Them Eat Cake".

Set in 1782 in the palace of Versailles, the writers had probably intended the show to lead up to Revolution, but it never made it past its first nine-episode season in 1999. The story centers around the Colombine, Comtesse de Vache (Saunders) and her staff - a maid (French) and a couturier (played by Adrian Scarborough). She is the most hated and reviled woman in France for she has the dirt on everyone at court, and has a standing rivalry with Madame de Plonge. I'm surprised the show was cancelled. I think it's quite hilarious. The chemistry between the trio is quite amazing, and the writing is excellent. Ah, well. Luckily we are able to enjoy the existing episodes on Youtube:

"The Pox"


"Murder"


"The Portrait"


"Making Voopee"


"A Marriage of Convenience"


"The Royal Command Performance"

Keep in mind those are all the first parts. You should be able to click through to parts two and three for each episode. Enjoy!

Witty Wednesdays - Are you Sure It's not a Toad Stool?

Witty Wednesdays - The Cutting Edge of Puns

It wasn't until I left the house for work this morning that I realized I hadn't uploaded a Witty Wednesday for this week, so during my lunch hour I've fashioned one using prehistoric technology: Microsoft Paint. Enjoy!

For the record, I realize that her gown is not quite correct for the French Revolution in 1789, but I made an artistic choice and I'm sticking by it, so there!

Witty Wednesdays - Cats

I'm definitely a cat person. Sometimes, though, my cats can get on my nerves; specifically due to their seemingly spiteful sense of timing:

Witty Wednesdays - Lady Marmalade

Sometimes when I listen to songs - especially ones that tell specific stories, I'm left wondering exactly how certain things would go down:

Movie Mondays - All About Eve (Tired Old Queen at the Movies)

Last week, Tired Old Queen at the Movies celebrated filmed their 100th episode! I've written about Steve Hayes' webseries before, and I still thoroughly enjoy watching his reviews. To mark the occasion, Hayes decided to take a look at one of his (and my) favorite films: All About Eve.

I have always enjoyed his quirky commentaries and impressions. Congratulations, Mr. Hayes! Here's to 100 more episodes! Be sure to subscribe to his Youtube Channel and follow him on Twitter.

Witty Wednesdays - Guide to Etiquette: Driving

This week's comic is the beginning of a series of Etiquette lessons from Yours Truly. Enjoy!

Frightening Fridays - The Fuccons

The japanophiles among you will probably have heard of Vermilion Pleasure Night, a short-lived variety show from 2000 which featured such sketches as Cathy's House, Midnight Cooking, and the NSFW One Point English Lesson. The automatonophobes out there may have also stumbled onto the following skits, then subsequently hit the back button and immediately called their therapists. The Fuccons is the story of a mid-century American Family that moves to Japan and learns about a new culture. If that sounds like a cheerful, heart-warming story it's only because I've yet to tell you that all the parts are played by the most terrifying department store mannequins you will ever see:

Did I mention they occasionally like to break out into bouts of uncontrollable, psychotic laughter? To be fair, once you ignored their fixed, maniacal grins and their dead, soul-less eyes, it's a pretty funny set of skits. I could only find one other English Dub, but the Japanese originals are plentiful on Youtube.

Pictured: The Last thing you will ever see.

Equally as nightmare-inducing, if not more so, is Juvenile Delinquent Takako, where a young human girl lives in a universe otherwise comprised of living mannequins. Not only that, but these mannequins seem to have the ability to physically abuse her.

Pictured: Trauma. Lots and lots of trauma.

Granted, she seems easily capable of defending herself, but can you imagine the existential terror that is living among dead-eyed store mannequins? It's no small wonder she's become a Juvenile Delinquent. I wouldn't last a day. Just remember: don't blink. Sweet dreams, readers!

 

Thwarted Thursdays - Lois Lane

Surprise, surprise, I've once again been beaten by one of the technologies I've come to depend on. This time, though, I admit this was mostly my fault. I decided to add color at the last minute which turned an hour-long project into an almost-all-nighter... because I'm a masochist.

Anyway, enjoy!

Afternoon Animations - A Gentlemen's Duel

I'm trying to be a little bit more liberal about what I post here. I used to have a bit of a hang-up about simply sharing content created by other people, but I'm starting to realize that I'm just missing the opportunity to share some really great stuff with you, dear readers. Therefore, here is a truly delightful Blur Studio animation I found - A little something for the Steampunk aficionados out there:

Mad Men Drinking Game

Since the Season Five premiere of Mad Men a few weeks ago, I've been looking around for a good Mad Men drinking game. However, I found most of them to be either too vague or far too specific, so I decided to have a go at creating my own.

Before I show you the game itself, it's important that you start off with the right drink. the AMC website actually has a pretty terrific cocktail guide that should serve as your menu for the night's revelries.

Feel free to share this with your friends and let me know what you think if you get a chance to try it! I hope you enjoy next week's episode, and always remember to drink responsibly.

Tweets From Titanic

I'd like to think of myself as one of the biggest Titanic fans out there, but it's been a while since I buffed up on my Titanic trivia. Watching the NatGeo special really put me in my place... Besides, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who are not only bigger fans than I, but will also appreciate my little project for this week: Tweets From Titanic.

In celebration of the 100th Anniversary, I've decided to poke some fun at the tragedy with a series of real-time Tweets from real and fictional Titanic Passengers.

If you'd like to join in on the fun, follow @TwtsFromTitanic and enjoy.

As a disclaimer, I would like to say that though the mood of these tweets will definitely be more tongue-and-cheek, it is not intended to demean or undermine the extreme tragedy of this disaster. So, please take these jokes with a grain of salt.

Stay Tuned for more... Tweets from Titanic!

Hark, A Vagrant!

I've got an upcoming addition to my blog, Witty Wednesdays- a weekly comic. Today, I'd like to talk about one of the many people who inspired me to finally go through with my idea.

Kate Beaton is a Canadian cartoonist who publishes a weekly webcomic called "Hark! A Vagrant".

Beaton majored in history and that has clearly been highly influential in her cartoon ventures.

Starting off on her Livejournal in 2007, Beaton now has her own website, has won several awards, and is currently in the middle of publishing her second book, "Hark! A Vagrant".

Both she and her comics have been featured in such publications as Wired, MacLeans, and The New Yorker.

Her almost-too-smart-for-the-internet sense of humor might actually cause you to look some stuff up, which I think is laudable for anything published free on the web.

Basically, her comics are fantastic and I've very rarely laughed so hard on the internet. Check out her site and her books!

The Good Wife's Guide

The "original" - but don't read it! I have it all below.

Allegedly an excerpt from Housekeeping Monthly, this "Good Wife's Guide" has been circulating the internet since it's inception. Some say it was even sent around by fax before e-mail took off. Most experts have discredited this article as little to no proof of its original publishing exists. However, I personally believe the advice in this article to be somewhat reflective of the time period. If you want proof, just watch any episode of "I Love Lucy", or films such as "Crime of Passion" (1957) or "All that Heaven Allows" (1955). Life for the average housewife was quite depressing, and strict gender roles paired with a cash flow coming exclusively from the husband did nothing to help. Anyway, I thought I had already done a post about Anne Taintor, but apparently I was mistaken, so I'll leave the info about her for another post and simply accompany this delightful little guide with some of her artwork.

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.

• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
• Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

With that, I must leave you. I did have that dream last night, and it has yet to come true. Must keep the house clean for my imaginary husband's return!

Photo credits:
All images used in this article are copyright Anne Taintor, save the Good Wife's Guide which is in the Public Domain.